People say that there’s a spark between two people, and by two people I mean couples. That moment when they just..click….. or connect. When they attract each other, like being around each other and maybe even fall in love, but experiences have taught me that a spark can be between any two people or a person and an activity too. After talking to a classmate the other day, I realised that it is true for everyone. In fact, she is the inspiration for this post and some of the credit goes to her too.
I realised this when I transformed from a hardcore ‘Directioner’ into an ex-Directioner. Just like a girl madly in love transforms into an ex-girlfriend over time if the relationship does not work out, which is what happened to me.
Stage One was attraction. I realised I did like listening to this band and I should do something about it. So I downloaded their music, watched ‘This is Us’ a few times. Okay, seven times, after which I realised, well I don’t know how to frame it better, but I realised I was ‘in love’.
Stage Two was ‘love’.(Pretty cheesy but you know what? Deal with it. High five to those who drew a parallel to ‘Better Off Ted’.).
Yep, Harry styles was almost everywhere. He was my phone’s wallpaper and he was on my bedroom door and on my pen drive. Basically, life was a bed of roses for me. I even felt like I had found solace finally, which I find pretty weird now. Everything was going great. I felt happy and excited at the same time, I couldn't stop thinking about them. It’s the stage where you think you are surely “in love”.
Stage Three: Well, let me just break it down for you. This was the stage where I was all like “ Oh One Direction, you know I love you ,right? But this is just not working out, I mean I’ve got my future and my career and all this is affecting my studies a lot. It is difficult for me to be with you all the time, maybe we need a break?” This right here is the whole “ it’s- not- you-it’s-me” situation (and an Indian student’s mindset). The spark is gone. Poof.
Yeah. So many similarities.
Stage Four: This one’s all about getting over the past. Healing the wound. Filling the hole. You know the drill right? You feel like you made a huge mistake. You want to get back together. You feel like….like your life has lost purpose and there is hole in your heart that you desperately want to fill. A strange emptiness lurks inside you, BUT, you know it for the best and sometimes you need to think about yourself too.
Stage Five is when you’re just lashing out your anger or hatred, even when there is no anger or hatred. This is where the mean posts, the angry comments and the strange behaviour - peculiarly resembling The Incredible Hulk- comes in. Basically you’re just lashing out your anger and your feelings very blatantly right now. The mention of his name evokes “feelings of the past and pain”.
Stage Six is when you've moved on. Yes, you are still “friends” and by that I mean you still listen to the band but you do not feel the same way about them any more. That nagging doubt still lingers- “Did you make a huge mistake giving up so fast?” . Then you decide- “ No, we did the right thing. I'm happy”
The posters of One Direction are still on my bedroom door. I keep them as a memory of my crazy days of being a Directioner.
And you know what is the most ironic thing about all this? I've never even been in a relationship.